Zero Hours Podcast – where I speak to comedians about the best and worst jobs they have done to get by in their pursuit of the arts. We also discuss some of the worst jobs that have existed throughout history – such as Mudlarks, Toshers and Resurrectionists, so that we may all get a little perspective.
In this first episode I speak to comedian and chef Andrew Forsyth about not becoming a builder, the horrors of the hospitality industry and how not to storm out.
In this episode I talk to newly professional comedian Josh Massen about the misrepresentation of drugs in films, offering waterboarding at spa’s, and how to get a free shoe shine from your boss.
I speak to comedian and publisher Mel Byron about her show Karoshi – death by over work – and we discuss how to make a business out of getting out of work, bully bosses and a cage of 1000 rats.
In this episode I speak to musical comedian, solicitor and writer of the Zero Hours theme tune Hassan Dervish about criminal justice, mattress carrying techniques and the morality of being a vegetarian working at Burger King.
In this slightly shorter episode, I talk to American comedian and actor Judah Friedlander about being a gym receptionist, Subway vs Tube and bosses who take the piss.
This episode I speak to Kieran Poole – a man well versed in bad jobs – about prison, Bollywood and why cleaning toilets can actually be quite fulfilling.
Episode 7 with Jenny Kassner, where we talk comedy, barber surgeons and resting bitch face.
In this first episode of the new year, I speak to Kuan-Wen Huang about unfair internships, chugging in Britain as a non-native speaker and the plight of the medieval Wise Woman.
In this episode I speak to Maddie Campion about the horrors of Camp America, accidentally taking on the name of a porn star for work, and being in a zombie movie.
In this episode I speak to Pope Lonergan about work colleagues with a troublesome past, the nobility of care work and the horrors of the animal kingdom.
In this episode we talk dead swans who never got to pay back their student loans, blagging your way into your dream job and the gloriously smart tracksuit uniform for the retail worker.
I speak to Sean Patrick about how alcoholism affects job performance, having a whore’s bath in McDonald’s, and why being an executioner was just as bad as you would think it would be.
Episode 13: Leslie Ewing-Burgesse
In this episode I speak to the most colourful comedian on the circuit about selling fridges, trying to convince celebrities to go to Canada – whether they like it or not – and wiping the King’s arse.
I chat to Alice India about the wonderful world of retail, how sex work is rarely quite so Belle De Jour, and instead of the traditional historical worst job, we discuss the modern day employment which is absolutely the worst job to have aired on this podcast.
Episode 15: Christopher Norton-Walker
In this episode, cut tragically short by the beginning of a gig, I speak to Christopher Norton-Walker about the tedium of retail, hiding in the bushes in a garden centre, and the highs and lows of comedy.
In this episode we talk about stockpiling beautiful glasses, that fine line between flirting and just dislike, being a journalist without journalistic instinct and why laziness is the truest sign of contentment.
In this episode I talk to Imogen Edmundson about period shits, being a teenager having to sell porn in the morn, fitting bras for people with far too big a rack, and the stresses of teaching.
In this episode I talk to Jamie Allerton about overwork, hugging celebrities in nightclubs and “calling Sarah” in India.
In this Christmas edition, I sit by a festive log fire with Fiona Simpson, as we discuss the indignity and seriousness of drama school, the horrors of retail, and being fired by your parents.
Happy New Year bitches! In this episode I talk to Jonny Collins about the delights of bar work, trying to blue plaque your old work place, and why it’s good to start running comedy nights where we can all just be nice to each other.
In this episode I speak to Lauren Pattison about EMA, Gregg’s (obviously), trying to get away with turning up to work drunk, having a good work ethic with attainable goals and SIERRA NEVADA.
In this episode I speak to Ben van der Velde about workplaces so dull they’re populated by NPCs, homes that have receptionists, Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman, and touring Yorkshire’s schools in a van.
Episode 23: Kiri Pritchard-McLean
In this first ever distance-recorded episode I speak to Kiri Pritchard-McLean about comedy, dish washing, and why you should never work your arse off to make somebody else wealthy.
In this episode I speak to Rachel Fairburn about possibly the most unusual first day in a job featured on this podcast, overly familiar customers and pitiful bosses.
In this episode I talk to Meryl O’Rourke about keeping children from drowning, the glamour of local radio and getting customers topless for kicks.
I talk to Jordan Gray about working with the darkest side of gambling addiction, being given a pint of money and why Tiger King will be the aspect of lockdown that we pass on to future generations.
In this episode I talk to Joe Bates about gorillas selling chocolate, food banks and screaming inside your heart.
In this episode we talk asserting yourself, potting to save a child from heartbreak and we hear about the worst department that has been established in a call centre.
In this episode I talk to Jen Ives about smashing bag packing in a supermarket, long hours in care work and selling glasses.
We celebrate our big 3 – 0 in style by talking to Simone Belshaw about why Halloween is the best, why people who work for charity are not always the best, and how the hospitality industry is not always so hospitable to their own.
In this episode I speak to Brennan Reece about being trapped on a boat, sneaking pizza to your mates and living the dream on tour.
In this episode I talk to Tom Little about the stinkiest job, rowdy audiences and being an extra in TV and real life.
Episode 33: Candy Warhol and Crystal Rasmussen
In this episode I speak to Crystal Rasmussen and Candy Warhol about Polish Presidents and pleasing poultry.
In this episode I talk to Arielle Souma about drama in the booking hall, managing managers and why a heckle is better than nothing.
Theme tune written and performed by Hassan Dervish.
And if this is the kind of thing that you’re into, the marvellous Kieran Poole has been chatting to comedians and musicians about their worst jobs on his radio show and podcast as part of the Worst Jobby Wobby segment that he has now turned into a live show!